Seriously. Do it.
Alex Wiles and Chase Young, who are totally not gay, thought it would be funny to shoot up a sign urging voters to vote against Amendment One — the anti-gay amendment that will go before North Carolina voters on the 8th of May — and post a video of it on YouTube. The video quickly went viral, and the two found out that not everybody thinks gunplay and homophobia are a cute combination. Alex quickly took the video down from his YouTube account, but by then hundreds, if not thousands, of people had already downloaded it, and it began popping up in other places on YouTube. Now Chase Young, aptly described by Chrislove as “the snickering asshole of a cameraman,” has asserted a copyright claim, and the videos are disappearing from YouTube as fast as they can be uploaded. I linked to the original video in my last post and have changed the link three times as the linked videos disappeared. It’s not my job to help Chase Young find all the YouTube links. You can still see the video on the website of WSOC.
A transcript doesn’t really capture the leering bigotry of Alex Wiles, but a transcript will have to do:
All right, I’m Alex Wiles and, uh, that’s my buddy Chase [Young] filmin’.
Right now there’s this Amendment tryin’ to be passed, Amendment One, and it’s gone state that marriage is between one man and one woman. That’s how it ought to be. So, somebody decided it’d be a good idea to put a sign near my house. They oughta know not to put stuff like that near my house.
[Sign: "Vote Against Amendment One on May 8"]
All right, we’re just gonna have a little talk about the sign today, so …
[Alex picks up a gun and shoots the sign from close range.]
That’s how we do it around here. That’s all folks.
Unfortunately for Chase Young’s attempt at damage control, the story had already been picked up by local media — and by the Cabarrus County Sheriff’s Office.
After discussing the case with the District Attorney, Wiles was cited for discharging a firearm within close proximity to a residential district.
He could face an additional citation as well for destroying the sign, deputies say, but they must clearly identify a victim, or owner of the sign. They say, so far, it has been difficult to locate.
Cabarrus County deputies spent more than an hour at the teen’s home after learning about the video. They believe the 17-year-old Jonathan Wiles took the sign from an intersection and set it up in his backyard where he recorded himself firing several shots at it.
Don’t forget to watch the video by following this link to WSOC: RAW: Man shoots anti-Amendment 1 yard sign.
It turns out Alex Wiles and Chase Young, who are totally not gay, are just teenagers. They’re active in the youth group at Bethel Wesleyan Church, and Alex is an Eagle Scout, so you can see where they got the good Christian values that taught them the virtues of bigotry, theft, and vandalism. You really can’t place all the blame on a teenager when his parents have brought him up to be a member of at least two anti-gay organizations.
Of course, not all the supporters of Amendment One are as ignorant as Alex and Chase. WSOC interviewed Doris and Boyd Ausmann, who live down the road from Alex’s parents, and although they support the anti-gay amendment, they weren’t impressed with Alex’s antics.
“This stuff here is childish,” said Boyd. “It is redneckish. It doesn’t accomplish anything.”
“I think the way you should handle it is going to the polls and cast your ballot,” she said.
See, Boyd and Doris are more mature than Alex. They know that theft, vandalism, and immature videos don’t accomplish anything. They think what you should do is use the political process to deny equal rights to your lesbian and gay neighbors. Because after all, what’s the point of being a Christian if you can’t beat other people over the head with your bigotry and superstition, and use Jesus as an excuse for harming other people?
Jesus, you see, wants his followers to be politically involved in jacking up all the people who don’t share their beliefs. Not the real Jesus, who never said a word about homosexuality, and stressed that his kingdom was not of this world, but the ignorant, hateful, bigoted Jesus who lives in the imaginations of Christian conservatives — the Jesus who thinks just like they do.
Alex Wiles of Kannapolis, North Carolina, who is totally not gay, would like you to know that he’s against marriage equality, and he’d like to present the argument for his point of view. That argument is, Alex has a gun, and he can hit a target from ten feet away.
[Edited 1 May and 2 May to replace video that had been taken down.]
Alex and his friend Chase Young do lots of manly stuff like this, just so everybody will know they’re totally not gay. Seriously: totally not gay. Alex’s manly wit and intelligence is inspired by his heroes:
With brains like that, Alex could probably go to work for the National Organization for Marriage, or some other godly, manly, rational organization. He’s got a lot of potential. And he’s definitely not gay. Totally.